New Year's Resolution

This year I decided to approach this a little differently. EVERY year, for as long as I can remember, my resolution has been to lose weight ~ except last year I just said I would exercise every single day (and that lasted until January 1). Since I have been working on my weight loss, this year it is not my resolution. I am just going to continue on with my journey. It was actually refreshing to start back on my protocol this week. I really enjoy eating so clean and was getting frustrated with and mad at myself when I found myself slipping with the Oreos~although I did dip them in Skim milk! :-)
Which leads me to my resolution:

• This year, my goal is to not be so hard on myself and realize that I deserve to be happy!

In talking to several friends and family members over the past few weeks, I realized that I put a lot of unreal expectations and "rules" on myself and then feel such guilt when I don't follow through. I would never hold another person to such high standards or be so hard on them if they have a little set-back. So I need to extend the same grace to myself.

This is hard for me because I have such an "all-or-nothing" mentality about things, especially when it comes to my weight. I use it as an excuse, as a shield, and let it define who I am.

So, I am telling myself some of the following:

• I am more than a number on the scale!
• It is OK if I eat more than I should or eat junk occasionally. That is real life!
• It's fine if I tell someone how I feel. I am so afraid of conflict (which is only imagined in my ming) that I try not to ever rock the boat.

One result of this is that I have decided that I may not, in fact, lose 100 lbs. That was my goal at the beginning of this journey. But I am now realizing that if I were to lose the 100 pounds, I may actually be too thin (never thought I'd say that). So, instead I am going to continue on and see what works for me and my body. BUT, I can safely say that I am currently 100 pounds less than my highest-ever weight!! :-) And that will have to satisfy me.

So far, 8 days into the new year, I am doing pretty well with my resolution. Can't say that I'm perfect, but I will keep it up!