New Year's Resolution

This year I decided to approach this a little differently. EVERY year, for as long as I can remember, my resolution has been to lose weight ~ except last year I just said I would exercise every single day (and that lasted until January 1). Since I have been working on my weight loss, this year it is not my resolution. I am just going to continue on with my journey. It was actually refreshing to start back on my protocol this week. I really enjoy eating so clean and was getting frustrated with and mad at myself when I found myself slipping with the Oreos~although I did dip them in Skim milk! :-)
Which leads me to my resolution:

• This year, my goal is to not be so hard on myself and realize that I deserve to be happy!

In talking to several friends and family members over the past few weeks, I realized that I put a lot of unreal expectations and "rules" on myself and then feel such guilt when I don't follow through. I would never hold another person to such high standards or be so hard on them if they have a little set-back. So I need to extend the same grace to myself.

This is hard for me because I have such an "all-or-nothing" mentality about things, especially when it comes to my weight. I use it as an excuse, as a shield, and let it define who I am.

So, I am telling myself some of the following:

• I am more than a number on the scale!
• It is OK if I eat more than I should or eat junk occasionally. That is real life!
• It's fine if I tell someone how I feel. I am so afraid of conflict (which is only imagined in my ming) that I try not to ever rock the boat.

One result of this is that I have decided that I may not, in fact, lose 100 lbs. That was my goal at the beginning of this journey. But I am now realizing that if I were to lose the 100 pounds, I may actually be too thin (never thought I'd say that). So, instead I am going to continue on and see what works for me and my body. BUT, I can safely say that I am currently 100 pounds less than my highest-ever weight!! :-) And that will have to satisfy me.

So far, 8 days into the new year, I am doing pretty well with my resolution. Can't say that I'm perfect, but I will keep it up!

Happy New Year

Well, it's not quite Valentine's Day but it has been almost a month since I posted. Here's what's up with me ~

• Christmas was interesting this year. The week before Christmas my brother and sister in law got the flu. They were then kind enough to share it with me and I was sick from the 23rd and didn't really feel completely better until the 26th. I am thankful, because some people I know were really sick for much longer. We had a casual Christmas morning and stayed in pajamas all day, which was really nice!
• Spent New Year's Eve with friends at my brother's house. Mexican food, playing Dominoes and setting off fireworks. It was a noisy and fun way to welcome in 2011.
• Started back to school way too soon!! We have only been back one week but I was convinced we've been back for two. This was a very long week!
• The 1st marked my day to start back on HcG for my final round. I really don't want to jinx myself, but this has been my best round yet!! Although I had gained back a few pounds over Christmas, I am down 13.1 pounds since Monday ~ yes in 6 days!!! I have started drinking herbal tea and I think that might have something to do with it. So far, I am down 66 pounds since June and that includes my "in-between" times where I was on my own.
• I was thinking of doing (walking) a 10K in Sedona in February. However, I will barely be off the HcG ~like 1 day~ so I am afraid that I will just be going as a spectator/cheerleader. I am looking forward to getting away for a couple of days, though. :-)

I guess that's a good summary of what's been up with me. Hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year!

I am still here . . .

Wow! I have been a slacker when it comes to blogging. I finished up my maintenance and have been free to do whatever I want since the weekend before Thanksgiving. I have maintained very well, just playing around with the same couple of pounds. Although I'd love to say I am losing 2 pounds a week, I am happy with maintaining. I'll start my last round on January 1 ~ whoo-hoo!!!!
Lots of things happening right now but I am at a loss to tell you what they are :-)

• My Dipped Delights is going really well (www.dippeddelights.blogspot.com) I have several orders for Christmas and lately it has looked like Christmas vomited all over my kitchen!
• School is school. Still really struggling this year and not sure if a change is in order.
• My Christmas shopping is done and wrapped! Granted, I don't have a lot of people to buy for but I am still happy that it is done.
• The new year is bringing lots of new possibilities. I am not going to make the "I want to lose weight" resolution this year since I am already well on my way. This year I am going to resolve that I am going to have the life that I deserve to have. It's hard sometimes to realize that I do deserve it ~ but I do!

Not a lot more here . . . I might as well wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year since it will probably be Valentine's Day before I blog again. :-)

I'm Not A Liar Anymore . . .

Well, after my absolutely m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e day and night yesterday, this morning started out with a bang! I got on the scale and was down 2.3 pounds!!! I had to get on the scale three different times throughout the morning to make sure it was accurate. So, as of this morning, I officially weigh what my Driver's License says I weigh. I haven't been able to say that for a LOOOONG time. :-)

Just Blah . . .

I don't know what's up with me lately, but I'm just so "blah" feeling. I know a lot of it is work-related. With the results of the election last week, there are going to be HUGE changes at school ~ to the tune of $1.5 million being cut this school year and and ADDITIONAL $5 million next year. Not good news in any way, shape, or form. And, I am just struggling with finding my joy in teaching (or, more accurately, all of the other #*(*@ that goes along with teaching).

How's that for a downer of an opening paragraph? Let's see what else is up . . .

• I have gotten a few orders for my Dipped Delights. Check out my other blog at www.DippedDelights.blogspot.com for more details. I love doing these but, unfortunately, they aren't enough for a main career. :-)
• Maintenance is going well. I am down a couple of more pounds, but the point here isn't to lose but maintain so I am succeeding.
• Getting excited about the Holidays. Went to Costco Saturday and walked through the Christmas aisles . . . I love seeing all the decorations they have out. :-)

I guess this was a pretty pointless post ~ just felt like I needed to put something up to prove that I hadn't fallen off the face of the earth.

New Adventure

In what seems to be counter-productive to my weight loss journey, I have started a new adventure. I am going to be making and selling a variety of chocolate dipped treats. If you are interested, you can go to my other blog at www.dippeddelights.blogspot.com

It is just in the beginning stages but I am so excited about it.

Cobb Salad and Cottage Cheese

I am so excited!!! Tonight, I get to have a cobb salad for dinner and I can even have cottage cheese if I want. That's right, I am officially on maintenance. I stopped my drops 3 days early because I think they had lost their potency and weren't doing anything. In effect, my body did think it was starving, since nothing was being released by the HcG, and was holding on to everything. I decided that the frustration wasn't worth it and made the decision to end them a few days ahead of schedule.

I was very pleased with this round, overall. Sure, I would have liked to have dropped another 15-20 pounds, but 60 pounds in 4 months is pretty amazing! My next goal is to keep things under control over the Holidays, which I am positive I will do. :-)