This One's For You, Crystal!!

So, it's been a loooong time since I posted, as I was gently reminded last night.  :-)

This Friday will be my last day at Liberty.  I can't believe this year is practically over, as well as my time at this school.  I am really struggling with mixed emotions this week.  On the one hand, I am very excited about my new adventures and being able to get back to what I love to do ~ teach.  On the other hand, I am getting really emotional about all of my "lasts" ~ my last Egg Toss had me in tears.  I will miss being able to see all of "my" kids grow up and graduate 8th grade.  There are so many changes happening at Liberty right now and I wish them only the best.

On to the most exciting news ~ ~ ~ we booked a cruise for the week of Thanksgiving.  At Odyssey we have that entire week off and since J & K also attend there, it is the perfect time for a vacation.  We will be doing the Eastern Caribbean itinerary this time around -- The Bahamas, St. Thomas, Puerto Rico, and Grand Turk.  I'm using this as motivation to stick with the diet and exercise program.  I wanna be a hot mamacita on this cruise!

The First Day of My 40th Year :-(

Oh, I hate to even type that!  I turned 39 yesterday and this was one of my favorite birthdays.  I went out with a bunch of girls last Friday to PF Chang's and The SHOUT House ~ even got up on the piano.  Then yesterday my kids were sooo excited for my birthday.  One little boy brought me a bag of cheese balls and a rose (which he has been saying he was going to bring me for my birthday).  They even made me turn in circles 39 times after they sang to me.  I may or may not have turned slightly slower than they counted but I was dizzy nonetheless.  Then last night I got the present I really wanted:  a full-length mirror!!!  (I know that's not what you were thinking, but I maybe I got that too ;-)  I am so tired of having to climb up on the bathtub to see what  my outfit looks like.  I get absolutely giddy when I look at the mirror hung on my wall -- I'm such a dork!

I think I am done with HcG.  I don't think I'll ever be happy with my body but I feel like I'm at a good place for me now.  So now begins the whole struggle with maintaining while still living a normal life.  My motivation to keep off the pounds is the fact that I got rid of all my big-girl clothes and refuse to go buy any more.  I am beyond happy to be in mediums and 10's ~ that has been my goal all along! :-)

OK, now for the BIG news:  Last Wednesday I turned in my resignation at Liberty, which is the only place I've ever taught.  I am finishing up my eleventh year there and never, in a million years, would have thought I wouldn't just stay there.  But, long story short, the district is headed in a direction that is not where I want to be.  I have totally lost my joy these past couple of years and that's not fair to my class.  So, as of August 1, I will be teaching at a charter school that is less than a mile from my house.  I am so excited!!  They are very pro-teacher and I will be able to actually teach, if you can imagine that!  Although I am heartsick at the thought that I won't be able to see "my kids" grow up and graduate 8th grade, I am beyond excited to begin this new adventure!

12 more days!!!

In just 12 more days I can once again eat dairy, eggs, and a wider variety of meats, fruits and veggies!!!  I am so excited to have a cobb salad and some cottage cheese!!!  When I began on this journey back in June, I was dreaming of the day I could have Chipotle and brownies again ~ I think that my new cravings are a change for the better. :-)
As of this morning, I am down 77 pounds and am thrilled.  I saw a picture of myself the other day, where I was in the background and my head wasn't in the picture.  If I hadn't known that those were my clothes, I would not have known it was me ~ I still do not picture myself thinner.  But pictures don't lie, I am much thinner and that makes me smile! :-)
I *think* this is my last time doing the HcG.  Although the charts say I am still overweight I think I have about hit what is a "good" weight for myself.  Now my new goal is going to be to maintain my loss and lead a healthy lifestyle.  I can do it!

Four Days in and Frustrated!

Well, I've stuck to my plan so far but I am frustrated.  I just paid my Discover card bill and got the new statement today.  Every month is goes up about $10! I know it's because I just pay the minimum and that probably doesn't even cover the interest.  I truly feel like I will never get ahead.

Oh well, what are you gonna do?  I got myself in this mess, now I need to work on getting out of it.  My Dave Ramsey book is in at the library so I'll be reading that this weekend.  Hopefully it will encourage me and not discourage me further.

Here's hoping that my next post is more positive!

Deb is in Debt!

My church, Palm Valley Church, is currently doing a series called "I've Got Issues". I think that this may be my most favorite series they've done. I can relate to so much of it and it makes me feel less alone. So far, we've covered: "I've Messed Up", "I'm Stressed Out", and "I'm In Debt". Yesterday's message on Debt and how to climb out from under it was powerful!
I am in more debt that I even imagined! OK, I guess I knew, in theory, but seeing the numbers written down was so depressing.
However, I am going to do something about it.
Since I am well on my way to conquering my weight and health issues, I am now going to tackle the debt. And you, my lucky blog readers, can come along for the journey! :-) I figure the accountability worked with the diet, so it will work with the debt, too! [Sidenote: I smile everytime I type "debt" because it is my name with a "t" at the end. Don't know why I find that funny!]
I decided yesterday that I will follow the steps that were outlined for us.

• Track Everything You Spend: I got a notebook and starting yesterday I am writing down every penny I spend, including the money I spent on the notebook. :-) Not only will this help me see where my money is going, but I think it will also help me not to buy People magazine almost every week. It works on the same principle, for me, as a diet journal ~ I don't want to write down a "cheat" so I don't eat it!
• Establish An "Oh-No" Fund: This should be a fund of at least $500-1,000 that you set aside for any emergencies that come up. One suggestion was to have a yard sale or sell unwanted/un-necessary items in your house. With the exception of a couple of old TV's and a few items of clothing, I don't think I have enough stuff to even make it worthwhile to have a yard sale. So, I will need to come up with an alternative way to establish my fund. This morning, while I was paying bills, I did transfer $100 into my fund, which made me feel like I'm on my way.
• Eliminate Expenses: As of right now, I don't feel like I spend foolishly, but I know that I will find stuff to eliminate as I start tracking my spending. I think my first step in this area will be to contact Qwest and DirectTV to see if I can cut back my bill in any way. I know that many people say that Satellite TV is a luxury, and a part of my definitely agrees, but I don't think I can completely cut it out yet. It is a large part of my entertainment ~ you know, all those shows I DVR and then delete when the DVR is full. And I believe I need to keep my landline for my security system which I REFUSE to give up. I am a big chicken and my security system is what makes me able to sleep well at night.
• Expect God To Help: I know it sounds bad, but this is a hard one for me. I have committed to tithing regularly, which I got a good start on over the past few months. It is just such a leap of faith. So, I am working on trusting that God cares about me and my finances.

My church is offering a Financial Peace University but I am not sure that I am going to sign up at this time. I had already requested Dave Ramsey's book from the library and have looked up several online sites/stories about people getting out of debt.

Here is my plan-of-action, which I will update on a regular basis:

1. Establish my emergency fund: I started this one today, 1/17/11, with $100

2. Track everything I spend: Started this on 1/16/11 and will maintain it for one full month and then go from there with seeing what can be cut.

3. Eliminate expenses: I will contact Qwest and DirectTV to see if I can lower either of those bills.

4. Establish a budget: I will use my spending journal as a starting point for the budget, so that I can see realistically where my money is going and needs to go.

5. Pay down debt: I am going to use the "snowball effect". Today I wrote down all of the outstanding debt I have: Visa, Discover, Car Loan, Student Loan, and Mortgage. My first goal is to pay off my Visa card ~ to do this I will throw any extra money I have each month at this balance.

6. Use the Cash Envelope system: After I have established my budget, I am going to convert to a cash-only system for my monthly expenses. I will still pay my bills online but items like groceries, household goods, entertainment, clothing, etc. will be budgeted and paid for in cash. I am still reading up on this area and how best to implement it.

So, there you go. A REALLY long post, mainly for my own benefit, of how I am going to get out of this hole I've dug for myself. It's really discouraging right now, but I am hoping that as I work on it, I will begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

New Year's Resolution

This year I decided to approach this a little differently. EVERY year, for as long as I can remember, my resolution has been to lose weight ~ except last year I just said I would exercise every single day (and that lasted until January 1). Since I have been working on my weight loss, this year it is not my resolution. I am just going to continue on with my journey. It was actually refreshing to start back on my protocol this week. I really enjoy eating so clean and was getting frustrated with and mad at myself when I found myself slipping with the Oreos~although I did dip them in Skim milk! :-)
Which leads me to my resolution:

• This year, my goal is to not be so hard on myself and realize that I deserve to be happy!

In talking to several friends and family members over the past few weeks, I realized that I put a lot of unreal expectations and "rules" on myself and then feel such guilt when I don't follow through. I would never hold another person to such high standards or be so hard on them if they have a little set-back. So I need to extend the same grace to myself.

This is hard for me because I have such an "all-or-nothing" mentality about things, especially when it comes to my weight. I use it as an excuse, as a shield, and let it define who I am.

So, I am telling myself some of the following:

• I am more than a number on the scale!
• It is OK if I eat more than I should or eat junk occasionally. That is real life!
• It's fine if I tell someone how I feel. I am so afraid of conflict (which is only imagined in my ming) that I try not to ever rock the boat.

One result of this is that I have decided that I may not, in fact, lose 100 lbs. That was my goal at the beginning of this journey. But I am now realizing that if I were to lose the 100 pounds, I may actually be too thin (never thought I'd say that). So, instead I am going to continue on and see what works for me and my body. BUT, I can safely say that I am currently 100 pounds less than my highest-ever weight!! :-) And that will have to satisfy me.

So far, 8 days into the new year, I am doing pretty well with my resolution. Can't say that I'm perfect, but I will keep it up!

Happy New Year

Well, it's not quite Valentine's Day but it has been almost a month since I posted. Here's what's up with me ~

• Christmas was interesting this year. The week before Christmas my brother and sister in law got the flu. They were then kind enough to share it with me and I was sick from the 23rd and didn't really feel completely better until the 26th. I am thankful, because some people I know were really sick for much longer. We had a casual Christmas morning and stayed in pajamas all day, which was really nice!
• Spent New Year's Eve with friends at my brother's house. Mexican food, playing Dominoes and setting off fireworks. It was a noisy and fun way to welcome in 2011.
• Started back to school way too soon!! We have only been back one week but I was convinced we've been back for two. This was a very long week!
• The 1st marked my day to start back on HcG for my final round. I really don't want to jinx myself, but this has been my best round yet!! Although I had gained back a few pounds over Christmas, I am down 13.1 pounds since Monday ~ yes in 6 days!!! I have started drinking herbal tea and I think that might have something to do with it. So far, I am down 66 pounds since June and that includes my "in-between" times where I was on my own.
• I was thinking of doing (walking) a 10K in Sedona in February. However, I will barely be off the HcG ~like 1 day~ so I am afraid that I will just be going as a spectator/cheerleader. I am looking forward to getting away for a couple of days, though. :-)

I guess that's a good summary of what's been up with me. Hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year!